Lent: A Love Letter

Photo by Cristina Gottardi

Is the bible a love story or a book of rules and guide to living?

All my life I was raised and taught to view it as a book of rules and guide to living. I embraced and strived to follow it. But when I look across the globe, I think from which perspective it's viewed determines a far reaching outcome.

Decades later at 52, I began questioning. Why do people who were raised to believe become atheists? Why is Christianity and churches in the state they are in now? Why didn't my relationship turn into forever?

Through loved ones, support groups, books, and therapy I'm still standing on two feet. But as I walked this road and endured the pain, I struggled with where was God?

Parallels

After I reached the edge of that forest of sadness and despair I started to see parallels. I thought about creation, Adam and then David. Then Jesus. That's when I saw love. And it started to make sense.

There is the beauty of being in love, but my experience has been after awhile it fades to love. However I don't think it is so with God. I think he is always in love and it never changes.

I started to see God's love for humanity as a love so deep it was beyond my comprehension. I saw his jealousy. And I thought of when a man sees another man who is more handsome, wealthier, intelligent, or whatever than he is, flirting with his wife.

I thought of David called a man after God's heart. I was once told that meant David was chasing God for his love and his heart. I thought of David in the cave with Saul when Saul was trying to kill David. David had the opportunity to kill Saul.

His soldiers even told him to strike Saul down. But David said, who am I to kill God's anointed? God's beloved.

I understood that because I love the children of friends through my love of the friend. I love the children of the man I was in a relationship with through my love for him.

Commandments or Boundary Setting and Deal breakers?

I thought of boundary setting that they teach in therapy and support groups. Then I thought of the ten commandments. And Jesus' two commandments love God and love your neighbor.

To me it seemed that commandments are boundaries God doesn't want humans to cross because they either hurt him, ourselves, or other humans who he loves,

Then I thought about the prayer I was taught as a child.

Our Father which are in heaven.

Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Trespassing Across Boundaries or Commandments?

That's where I stopped and wondered. God tells us how not to break his heart. And not to hurt those he loves in his commandments. And I wondered how is that different from the boundary setting and deal breakers that I was taught to establish for myself in therapy, books, and support groups?

When I love I don't want my heart to be broken. Who does?

When someone I love trespasses across my boundaries... ?

When I trespass across the boundaries of someone who loves me let alone someone who doesn't...?

Then I came face to face with my trespasses against God.

And the depth of his forgiveness of my trespasses through the sacrifice of Jesus who he adored.

Always in love

And so it seemed to me that God doesn't want to stop being in love with humanity. There is a reason we are all created differently. We each bring a different type of companionship and delight to God's heart.

And so I wonder is the bible a book of rules and a guide to life? Or is it a love story of how deeply God is in love with his creation with a never ending love that can't be comprehended through the human mind or heart?

Then I wonder can I ever fall in love with God the way he is with me?